From the mouths of babes

Mommy: Claire, who is your favorite aunt?

Claire: Aunt Deedra (I swear that is what she said)

Mommy: Ellie, who is your favorite aunt? (hoping she will say Aunt Dana)

Ellie: Ally.

Well, Ally is not an aunt, but so cute! For the record, I have amazing sisters-in-law who I am proud to have as sisters from other misters. They inspire me daily to be a geat wife and mother. I love you both dearly.

Oh Christmas Tree?

Tonight the girls and I put together our Christmas tree. We diligently sorted out the branches by color and piled them neatly on the floor. It was great! Claire read the directiions and made sure we put in the right colors, Ellie did all the bending and handed me each branch, and I put all the branches in the post and made them look "real". We get all done and stand back to admire the tree (we decorate tomorrow night). Ellie just looks at the tree and Claire says, "It doesn't look like a real tree." News flash...it is not a real tree and we won't have to water it or vacuum up pine needles for the next 6 months. Claire bends over and picks up a fake "needle" off the floor and says, "like this?". I hate when she's right.

Why we do not watch football

Mama Sue (directed at the TV): Shut up, announcers. Start talking sbout the game.

Mommy: Ellie, tell Mama Sue we don't say "shut up".

Ellie: We say damn it, huh Mom?

Um....right. Thanks Uncle Gary for turning your head to laugh. I appreciate it.

Funny thing about my girls

They are too smart for their own good.

When Claire started kindergarten, we were concerned she would be bored because she knew most everything on the kindergarten skill list and had mastered quite a number of skills on the list. Apparently Claire needs to learn emotion control and decision-making skills...see previous post.

I realized that Ellie has met many of the kindergarten "end of year" goals also. I suppose I should work on her emotion control and decision-making skills now.

Ellie has also mastered "cursing": holy holy. At least I think that is cursing to her....she says it in situations in which I would curse.

Big Girl Ellie

Ellie is now mostly potty-trained and it is an exciting time in our household. I'm thinking my budget line item for "diapers/pull-ups" can soon return to "Starbucks/coffee". While I'm mopping the kitchen floor or shampooing the family room carpet or rinsing out poopy panties (sorry, but that's the way it goes sometimes), I dream of vanilla lattes and Carmel Machiattos. It's actually quite sad.

Today I asked her if we could stop buying pull-ups. Her response "No way, hosey". I'm fairly certain she meant "No way, Jose", but just couldn't pull it off.

Kindergarten Claire

Claire started kindergarten a few weeks ago.

Now that I've stopped crying every day when I drop her off, I can see the humor in the situation. She's got an entirely new set of people to influence and terrorize with her Claire-logic.

I received a voicemail from the Assistant Principal at Claire's school recently. I would receive a discipline notice on Claire's behavior. She apparently hit, and then bit another student who would not give her the book she wanted. That weekend we had many conversations about making good choices and the consequences of poor decision-making. She told me the boy's name in her recounting of the events.

Yesterday I met the "victim". I think I would have bitten him too.

What am I?

Claire: "Am I Schultz?"

Me: "Um....sort of. You're a Wilson."

Claire: "How is Mama Sue a Schultz and you're a Schultz, but I'm not a Schultz. I must be a Schultz because I belong to you."

Me: "Ok. Good logic. Go to bed."

Bom Chick-a-wah-wah

Claire has a new stuffed kitty cat she calls Peaches, her chick-a-wah-wah. I thought it was cute she made up this new animal-type.

This morning we were watching "Handy Manny" and Manny's neighbor, Mrs. Portillos, has a Chihuahua (I'm not sure it is spelled correctly, but you get what I mean).

Claire looks at me and says "She has a chick-a-wah-wah too."

The light finally comes on in my head (I know, it took longer for me than most). I'm not even going to explain to her that her new little friend is a cat, not a dog.

And I'm still going to call every little Taco-Bell-looking dog a "chick-a-wah-wah".

Italian Ellie

Even though John and I do not have any Italian in our heritage-family-tree-thingee, Ellie has some Italian in her. Her Italian-ness is evidenced by:

1. She talks with her hands. If I hold her hands, she stops talking. Try it; it's kind of fun!

2. She is passionate about EVERYTHING. She loves her food, her stuffed animals, and her sister. She is very passionate about these things in her life. I pray she continues to be passionate about her sister.

3. She loves d.r.a.m.a. LOVES it...with a passion (see item 2). With Claire, I'm not worried about the pre-teen years, but Ellie...oh yeah, I'm having nightmares about it already.

4. She loves "basketti" and "beatballs". I realize that is a stereotype, but I love to hear her say it. It makes me giggle.

I love my little Ell-Bell.

Multi-language children

Claire showed me the alphabet in sign language. I was blown away! She is extremely smart. I don't know who I feel more sorry for....myself, her teachers, her friends, or future boyfriends.

Claire, the proud patriot

John is a good man. He will often get up early with the girls on Saturday so that I may sleep in. This past Saturday, John was watching the Olympics while Claire and Ellie were playing Legos in the dining room....where they have taken up permanent residence and decided to multiply. Anyway....John realizes that Claire is stuck in an endless loop of a song...what is it? The Star-Spangled Banner. Seriously. No lie.

Claire sang the first half of the first verse over and over...ad nauseum. My little American. So proud!

For all you singers out there who volunteer to sing the National Anthem before athletic events, but yet don't quite know the words (or tune) for The Star-Spangled Banner, shame on you. Next time, call Claire for help.

An afterthought about this topic: Carrie Underwood at the Super Bowl was pitchy. My friend Robb would have done it proud. So there. I'm just sayin'.

Foreign Languages

Now that Claire is reading (and writing!) and Ellie knows most of her alphabet, the girls have decided (apparently) that foreign languages are next. Claire is painting with Ellie. Claire finishes her picture and says "Voila!". Ellie, in her relentless pursuit to be like her big sister says, "Walla!" So cute. Seriously though, ask Claire to count to 10 in Spanish. She can do it.

Daylight Savings Time and Christmas Lights

Daylight Savings Time:

Con: By the time I pick up the girls after work, it is very dark.

Pro: I get to hear Claire and Ellie talk about the Christmas lights and decorations on the way home.

example:
Claire (pointing at a house): Look, they have white lights, Christmas trees, a sled, and a moose.

Mom: That is a reindeer.

Claire: Oh. (A few houses later) Look, there's Christmas trees and a rein-ga-deer. (I did not correct her - it was too cute.)

Susan Socks

Claire was upset yesterday afternoon, after her dad told her to go get her "Susan Socks". Claire was upset because she didn't know which socks were her "Susan socks". It took me a few minutes, but I finally figured out her dad told her to go get her shoes and socks. After explaining that, she just said, "Oh".

Claire is learning to read and I am screwed.

We have lived in complete bliss for 4 and a half years now. I could get away with telling Claire anything I wanted, but now....someone thought it appropriate to teach her to read.

Tonight I was rummaging through a drawer and Claire spotted a tin of Ginger Snap candy. She grabbed it and said, "This is mine." I replied, wisely, "Not it is not. Does it have your name on it?"...knowing full well that they are mine and did not have her name on them.

Turns out I was wrong. She replied, "Yes, they do. See?" and pointed to the brand name "St. Claire." Darn. She was right. She is enjoying a Ginger Snap candy right now, as a matter of fact.

Poor Ellie

Ellie has a cold and lost her voice. It has been like living with a 2-year old that you have muted. Not a bad concept, but I digress.

Now that Ellie is getting her voice back, she is funnier than ever. She sounds like a Little Person (no pun intended) on helium. High-pitched little voice...so cute.

Mama Sue asked Claire how Ellie was doing. Claire said, "She sounds like a horse." I'm fairly certain she meant something else, however....we don't correct the cute ones.

My pre-schoolers have (overnight) become pre-teens? I think not.

Here's the scene.....Ellie is standing on her chair in the dining room, with a piece of spaghetti hanging out of her mouth and dancing. Claire looks over at Ellie, then looks at me and says, "Ellie thinks she Hannah Montana, but she's not. Right, Mom?"

How do you respond to that? That is, besides "crap"...

bad words from the mouths of babes

I recently had my first experience of trying to discipline my child, while trying really hard not to laugh (I was highly unsuccessful).

It reminds me of the time that Little Joe (about 18 months at the time) called me a butthead and Deedra and I were laughing so hard, that Russ had to take over....anyway.....

Claire came to me crying; she was so upset and told me that Ellie had called her a bad name. My mind instantly went down a list of possibilities. I decided to ask Claire what her sister had called her and prepared myself for the worst (they are in daycare, afterall). Claire says, "Ellie called me a cracker." Hmmm....I wonder where she learned that. I calmed Claire down and went to find Ellie.

Ellie is lying in my bed, watching TV with her Dad. Innocent and sweet as can be. I march up to her, take her little face in my hands, and say, "Do not call your sister a cracker; it is not nice." I didn't get the entire sentence out without a smile on my face, although I gave it a valiant effort. What did not help is my dear husband struggling for breath behind his pillow. Wimp.

I am sure Ellie was calling her sister a 'saltine' or Goldfish or Melba Toast. At least that is what I HOPE.

I know, I know....

I need to update this blog. Motherhood and full-time employment is kicking my butt....soon, I promise.

Bigger and Badder (but not in a bad way)

Well, the girls are getting bigger every day. Claire is talking up a storm (and you can actually understand her) and Ellie is not far behind her. They are so funny, that I would be posting funny stories about them every day.

Such as... Ellie and I were going to pick up Claire at school and I was singing along with a CD(a common occurrence while I am driving). I realized that Ellie was mimicking me. I'm not sure if she wanted to be like me or was making fun of me. I am hoping for the first one. But it was very cute.

Claire was mad at me (for some reason only known to her) and she kept telling me to leave her alone. When she felt better, she came and asked me if I was done screaming. ??

Ellie is beginning the potty-training stage. When she has a BM, she will bring me a diaper and the wipes, put them in my lap, and say "Shoo-whee". Funny. She is rarely not dirty. When Claire went potty in a restaurant (in the bathroom), Ellie tried to pull off her diaper so she could sit on the potty too. It was hard to keep Ellie away from the public toilet while I was getting Claire's hands washed. Good times....